Wondering how this week’s political antics will impact your Fantasy Election League team? We all are. Here is the latest player analysis to help you make good decisions and keep you racking up those Fantasy Election Points!
Donald Trump, Republican Presidential Nominee
Don’s had a so-so week. His offensive skills are GREAT; this week he has shown how he can implement aggressive, offensive tactics, such as grabbing women by their yahoos, but he just can’t seem to gain yardage with the amount of penalty flags the refs are throwing. It’s almost like he is intentionally nose-diving his team into a loss. Taking him out of the active player slot and putting him on the bench may be the move you need to make so he doesn’t completely fuck your fantasy team.
Projected fantasy points: -773
Hillary Clinton, Democratic Presidential Nominee
After Don’s penalties, Hillary’s stats skyrocketed and it looked like she was heading for a touchdown. But WikiLeaks kicked up the defense and bumped her back to the 20-yard line. With Don on your bench this week, Hillary is expected to be able to rush the ball and gain some significant yardage. Her ability to have a private and public agenda makes her this election’s flex player. Fellow teammate Bill Clinton has been fumbling the ball all the way up the offensive line. Bill…bill…bill…goddamn Bill. Bank on Hillary hustling left and right all week to cover up his errors.
Projected fantasy points: -483
Mike Pence, Republican Vice Presidential Nominee
It may be time for the second stringer to strap on his cleats and see some playing time. With Don potentially riding the bench this week, Pence may be able step-up to give your team the boost they need to win. Many have even been comparing him to the likes of Tom Brady (a former second stringer and now Super Bowl Champ). Pence put up some great defense for Trump and his fans were shouting and holding their DE-PENCE signs but the hits were just too hard and frequent to block.
Projected fantasy points: +3
Mitt Romney, former Governor of Massachusetts
C’mon don’t forget about Old Mitt! His former teammates used to call him Mittens cause he could catch anything that was thrown at him. With the Republican party running around like chickens with their heads cut off, now is a great time to pick up Mitt Romney as the sleeper pick for the Republicans. With two failed presidential campaigns under his belt you can bet Mittens is doubly THIRSTY for a W-I-N!
Projected fantasy points: +127
Ken Bone, Coal plant operator
This could be Ken’s breakout rookie season. The underdog suited up this week in his red sweater and stole the show from some of the more veteran players. His enthusiasm and love for the game reminds us of the heart we saw in Tim Tebow. Despite Bone’s lack of a political career, “Bonehead” fans are ready and willing to nominate him and go all the way to the White House. Don’t be quick to count him out of your line-up because of his rookie status, he could just be the add you need to win the league.
Projected fantasy points: +622
There ya have it folks!! Overall, any adjustments made to your election line-up for next week will probably still have your team in the shitter BUT at least it’s fantasy and not real life! There is always 2020 to come back and win your engraved Fantasy Election League trophy to proudly display in your man cave!