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  • Cost Of Living So Expensive Millennial Considers Living In Multiverse, 1/24

  • Oops! We Dropped The Ball Early You Can Go To Bed Now, 12/23

  • Tragic! Woman Not Wearing Flannel At Apple Orchard Immediately Escorted Off Premises, 10/23

  • Heartwarming! $1 Gift Bag Reused Several Times By Family Members Now Considered Heirloom, 9/23

  • Wow! Face Cream Wants Me To Be Confident, But Not Confident Enough That I Don't Need Their Product, 8/23

  • Ahoy! Bachelorette Party Wastes No Time In Commandeering Party Boat At Sea, 8/23

  • Summer In The City? Faint Smell of Hot Garbage Filling Air, 7/23

  • 5 Straw Beach Hats That Say 'The Sun Completely Owns Me', 7/23

  • Breaking: Noise Cancelling Headphones No Match For Sound Of Own Flip Flops, 6/23

  • Genius? Woman Avoids Small Talk At Work By Using Invisibility Cloak, 5/23

  • Humble Makeout Brag? Lipstick Mark Stays On Wine Glass After Dishwasher, 4/23

  • Easter Egg Hunt Just Looking For Literally Any Affordable Egg, 4/23

  • All-Female Team's Zoom Meeting Is Just Everyone Saying, "Oops, You Go Ahead", 4/23

  • Artisan Bread Differentiates Self In Market By Getting MFA In Studio Art, 3/23

  • Be Mine? Amazon Has Been Coming To The House Kind Of A Lot Lately, 2/23

  • Woman Worried Candy Hearts Are Just Telling Her What She Wants To Hear, 2/23

  • FEMA Introduces Relief Bill For People Who Were Foolish Enough To Try Pinterest Craft, 1/23

  • BREAKING: Santa's Workshop To Partner With Amazon, Citing Faster Delivery Times, 12/22

  • ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Pete Davidson,’ and Other Holiday Jingles, 12/22

  • Fashion Win? Woman Realizes She Is Wearing Same Puffer Vest as Yorkie on Subway, 12/22

  • Airlines Gear Up For Busy Holiday Season By Offering To Lose Luggage A Month In Advance, 11/22

  • Self-Care Incense Stick Slows Down Burn After Realizing Woman Still Hasn’t Mentally Collected Herself, 10/22

  • Round of Monopoly Offers Realistic Home-Owning Fantasy for Married Couple, 10/22

  • FEMA Introduces Relief Bill for People Who Were Foolish Enough To Try Pinterest Craft, 10/22

  • Ryan Gosling Tries Method Acting For ‘Barbie’ Movie: Stands Idly in Dream House Until Needed for Make-Out Scene, 8/22

  • Woman Panics After Acquaintence Takes Up Offer of “Getting Drinks and Catching Up” Sometime, 7/22

  • Cold Button on Hair Dryer Offers Brief Reprieve Into Arctic Paradise, 7/22

  • Washing Machine Setting Promises to Provide Sensual and Passionate Experience to Raggedy Old T-Shirt, 6/22

  • Woman Who Needs Fan to Sleep Decided to Put Jumbo Jet in Bedroom, 5/22

  • Woman Tired of Moving Convinces Renters She is Cool New Bonus Item, 5/22

  • Woman Stares at Dumbbell for 5 Minutes to Manifest Abs, 5/22

  • House Explodes After Protective Paper Towel Not Placed Over Microwaving Bowl of Chicken Soup, 5/22

  • How To Stress Test Your MacBook by Opening as Many Internet Tabs as Possible, 4/22

  • Company Slashes Retirement Plan to Introduce Cheaper Option: Check Old Pockets for Dollar Bills, 4/22

  • Woman Resuscitates Shriveled-Up Contact for One Last Hurrah, 4/22

  • Coworker’s Whole Personality Defined by Eccentric Patterned Socks, 3/22

  • REPORT: Valentine Candy Hearts To Include Booty Call Text Phrases Such as ‘u up?’, 2/22

  • Trader Joe’s Crew Member Wondering When They Get To Do Cool Pirate Shit, 1/22

  • Old Exercise Bike Slated To Be Released to a Farm to Enjoy Last Days In Peace, 1/22

  • Report: Woman Going To Take Extra Napkins Just In Case, 12/21

  • Jesus Tired of Birthday Always Falling on Christmas – Says He Gets Shorted Gifts, 12/21

  • Woman Moves Out Of Overpriced Apartment and Into Cozy Sweater, Says ‘It’s Way Roomier In Here, and It Was Only $15’, 11/21

  • Wedding Party Organizes in V-Shape to Flock South for the Winter, 9/21

  • Woman Caught Posting Stock Photos of Baby Just To Get More Likes, 9/21 

  • Men Holding Fish In Profile Pics Discovered To Be Part of Some Type of Unclear Alliance, 8/21

  • Doctor Warns Having 3 Espresso Shots A Day Leads To Actually Answering Phone Calls On First Ring, 8/21

  • Man Grilling At BBQ Angry That Self-Created Nickname ‘Cheeseburger King’ Not Catching On, 7/21

  • So, You Want To Log Into Our Complimentary Wi-Fi? Like Hell You Will, 7/21

  • Zoom App Repeatedly Showing Up At Front Door Unannounced After In-Office Meetings Resume, 7/21

  • Woman Left Skeptical After Improv Teammate Responds “Yes, And” To Her First Date Proposal, 6/21 


  • Guest writer for monologue jokes, 12/22 Rockwell Theater


  • I Am A Patagonia Vest Warrior Who Crushes Digital Mountains Of Excel Spreadsheets, 12/19


  • End Of Era: Bill Belichick Reattaches Sleeves To Sweatshirt, 1/24

  • "Bring It On!" Says Boston Resident Who Prepares For Snowstorm By Putting Shorts On, 1/24

  • Local Orchard Teams Up With Dunkin To Offer First Ever Pick-Your-Own Pumpkin Spice Latte, 9/22

  • Elton John Playing 'Bennie and The Jets' At Gillette Stadium Closest Thing To A Jets Victory There In Years, 7/22

  • Touching Tribute: Revere Residents Leave Cherished Cigarette Butts In Sand To Keep Spirit Of Beach Alive, 7/22

  • Foxboro Reacts To Hosting 2026 World Cup: 'We Can't Wait For Soccer To Finally Come To New England!', 6/22

  • Boat Shoes Magically Appear On Man's Feet As He Crosses Bourne Bridge To Cape, 6/22

  • When People Give Directions In Massachusetts, REEL, 5/22

End Of The Bench Sports

  • Puppy Bowl Running Back Tests Positive For Zoomies, 1/24

  • UPS Driver Throws Hail Mary With 2 Minutes Left In Estimated Arrival, 12/23




& more..

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