How to Calculate The Tip in 6 easy steps

For all the people who thought they'd literally never see a fraction again after high school and then realized, every time you pick up a check at brunch you would have to do math. Well f**k. Before you go cursing your decision to sleep through that algebra lesson on complex fractions, follow the simple steps below:

1. Stand up and make an announcement to the entire restaurant: "Is there an astrophysicist in here? I need math done NOW!"

2. No response? Yell: “Will settle for anyone who got a B- in math class.”

3. Still no response? Threaten to take an online statistics class from University of Phoenix - full volume on your phone.

4. Realized that would be too time-consuming? Call your high school and get your algebra teacher on the phone.

5. They didn’t pick up? Look at the server directly in their eyes. Say "save me before I spiral into a tip mind bender. Please write in what you think is fair."

6. Write that amount in.

Phew! Looks like you didn't need algebra after all. Repeat these steps as needed anytime you receive the check at a restaurant.