Who The F*ck Needs A Coaster When You Have This?

So, it happened. You got the dreaded "are you using a coaster?" at your friend's house after placing your beer right on their new mahogany coffee table like a total moron. Oh f*ckkk.

Present this coaster to let everyone know you in fact used using a coaster and are a highly refined house guest who wouldn't be caught dead without one. I mean, c'mon, you f*cking love coasters! Psht who WOULDN'T remember to use one?

If this doesn't work and they've discovered an emblazoned drink ring where your beer was resting, now is a great time to say "Wow, who put their beer here? Jeez ever hear of a COASTER?" and quickly run out of the house.

*Reuse coaster as needed

Lime Garnishes For Life Hassles

Things just seem to get better when a lime slice is added.

You're Not Gonna Cook That Are You?

Hey, I'm your oven mitt. I see that dish you're about to put in the oven - what are you calling it again? Zucchini chicken nugget smash delight? Yeah that one. I highly recommend skipping it. I know a cooking disaster when I see one. But you do what you want, what do I know? I'm just an oven mitt with a lifetime of cooking experience.

Just know that I tried. Your dish is currently on fire and completely non-edible. This is probably for the best. But again what do I know I'm just an oven mitt.