Ad sponsored by Ted - a finance worker who drank 7 glasses of eggnog at a corporate holiday party even after his coworkers said "Hey man you know that stuff is made of heavy whipping cream right? You might want to take it easy."
Ahh holiday shopping at the strip mall in the 90's. Please light this candle with care. This candle may aggravate guests as they remember being surrounded by beauty attendants as they were trying to leave Macy's only to be hit with a concentrated shot of White Diamonds. If this happens blow out immediately.