A Sale Coupon that'll leave you more confused if anything

Disclaimer: User must guess what store this actually belongs to and if you somehow find a way to redeem this coupon your purchase will self destruct and you will be billed to replace that item in store...........Wait what?

Missed connection: $1,000,000,000 jackpot winner

Dear person who bought a winning lottery ticket-

Congrats on becoming an instant billionaire! I realize it's probably really hard to spend that fortune on your own which is why I am extending an invite to connect and frivolously blow through a billion dollars with you! In fact, I already have a plan in mind of what I would do with all that ca-ca-cash!

The first thing we could do is buy a rocket ship equipped with a monkey that's been trained to pilot the aircraft. That's just one of my big money dreams. Another option is to buy 17 cruise ships in Waikiki bay driven by the same monkey who can also captain a boat. But of course, I am flexible and open to suggestions on how the billion dollars should be spent.

Please call me (winners only) 555-555-5555

Review for new candle scent "buttered popcorn"

I bought this candle "Buttered Popcorn" thinking it would be perfect for the weekly movie night hosted at my home. But the second I lit it, my guests started sniffing the air asking "did someone make popcorn? Who made popcorn?"

Unfortunately, I hadn't made any popcorn. My guests didn't understand why on Earth I would light a popcorn scented candle, tempt them with the smell of popped buttered kernels and then not actually have any popcorn.

A little while later, our pizza delivery guy knocked on the door and asked "did someone make popcorn? I smell popcorn."

Again I had to explain it was just a candle and there was no popcorn. I felt like a fool.

Eventually, my guests became so enraged that there wasn't popcorn they piled into the pizza guy's car and they all drove out to find popcorn.

It was past 9:00p.m. on a Friday night. Most stores were closed. For hours, my guests searched for an open store that sold popcorn. They finally settled for a bag of Smartfood from a gas station. We didn't even get to watch the movie, the entire movie night revolved around finding popcorn.

Had I known the chaos this candle would cause I would've skipped it - will definitely not be lighting it again.