Introducing The Pocket-sized Saxophone

Tired of being stuck places without background music? The Pocket Sax is the perfect solution to use literally anytime you're waiting for something such as a refill on free breadsticks at The Olive Garden. Or even as overture for meandering conversations like when you're stuck at the printer talking to your coworker Ted about spreadsheets. Just hit play and let The Pocket Sax take it away.

An intro to drive-thru therapy

What is Drive-Thru Therapy? A new therapy approach that pairs shame of ordering calorie-loaded meals with emotionally taxing issues. No appointments necessary, no therapy co-pays, just you and the menu. Throw away the hassle when you throw away the wrapper.

User Testimonial: “Using fast food restaurants for therapy has been a valuable coping tool; it adds more meaning to a fast food trip, I feel like the person taking my order actually listens and most of all – it’s cheaper.” – Wendy, drive-thru therapy client

How to Calculate The Tip in 6 easy steps

For all the people who thought they'd literally never see a fraction again after high school and then realized, every time you pick up a check at brunch you would have to do math. Well f**k. Before you go cursing your decision to sleep through that algebra lesson on complex fractions, follow the simple steps below:

1. Stand up and make an announcement to the entire restaurant: "Is there an astrophysicist in here? I need math done NOW!"

2. No response? Yell: “Will settle for anyone who got a B- in math class.”

3. Still no response? Threaten to take an online statistics class from University of Phoenix - full volume on your phone.

4. Realized that would be too time-consuming? Call your high school and get your algebra teacher on the phone.

5. They didn’t pick up? Look at the server directly in their eyes. Say "save me before I spiral into a tip mind bender. Please write in what you think is fair."

6. Write that amount in.

Phew! Looks like you didn't need algebra after all. Repeat these steps as needed anytime you receive the check at a restaurant.